Holiday pt. 2

Before I start, I'm just going to talk about what I was just thinking. I was about to leave the house, following a slurry of feelings in the form of what people call "fomo". In these times, it's a good life lesson to not try to return to the place where 'everyone' was, last night. They're not as likely to return. Some of them may have drank too much. It's all a fleeting thing. You've been in these places before, you'll be there again. The truth is that I probably just want to go outside. Maybe I want to socialize because that hasn't been as much of an option this year. Anyway, it's good that I'm here. I've got stuff to do.

I wanted to follow up on the previous post about my Holiday Special video. I think I mostly gave an explanation of "Why" and not so much "How" etc like I was originally intending. Plus, by the time I wrote that one I was kind of distracted by TV and getting tired. I also didn't even talk about there was an entirely separate "animated" portion to the project.

First of all, I guess I haven't discussed much of why I use the "vhs" style. That could be its own entry, but to be brief, the reason I continue to use it is just because it's what's available to me. I could also easily use my phone, as I have in the past, but I guess using a camcorder just adds a sense of ambiguity. It also kind of gives me license to let the video have certain faults that would be harder to get away with if the video was more "clean". 

Again, I just typed out a bunch of stuff and realized that I really ought to reserve an entry for the specifics of how I work with my camera. Plus it would've been boring in this context.

Anyway, I think I was just kind of in-and-out of confidence while I was making this. One day, I wrote down all the ideas I had for it, and immediately after that I was like "nevermind". Then, in the next couple of days, I was laying down and thought about it again and got up and immediately started making it. I think that shows itself in the video. I was on the fence with "what the hell am I talking about?" I think the only thing that I said that I was able to improvise, that I still find funny, was the thing about writing to Santa with a sheet of college-ruled notebook paper. Other than that, I kind of cut out more of this subplot of me being in a bad mood. Pessimistic. Right before the best take of that joke was more stuff about how this year sucked. So, really a lot of this is just me trying to strike a very intentional balance of "I'm being 100% serious" and "I don't want to alienate people" all while hosting a holiday special. Plus it's just a funny character trait, to see someone who is supposed to be publicly jubilant have something darker seeping out of the cracks or whatever.

I still feel like I'm talking about "Why". So I'm probably going to stop there.

I am surprised at the response. Any response is probably a good one, at this point, but I liked that people quoted some of the stuff from the video. That's tight. This was the only video I've made in a long time where I was genuinely worried about whether anyone would "like" it. Like I said, this video is a ritual. That's why I make things like this. I'm hoping to evoke a spirit. That can mean I'm just trying to motivate myself to keep going. My own spirit. It can mean that I'm trying to inspire even a chuckle from anyone who sees it. It can mean I'm literally praying to Santa Claus. That's what I mean by evoking spirits. Don't misunderstand me.

Oh yeah. I think my original idea for the "animated" sequence would've made the whole thing more linear. Maybe too linear. Too much. It was going to begin with a sequence of me, live action, drifting off into thought talking about spending Christmas alone, or something. It would've somewhat been an unavoidable reference to Squidward's "Alone" sequence. Then, as I drift through this vague realm of thought, I would meet this Gift character. I would tell him how and why I'd been "alone". How I've missed my "friends and frequent collaborators". (The joke being the insistent use of the entire phrase "friends and frequent collaborators".) Then, the gift would assure me that there's nothing to worry about. He'd remind me that if my "friends and frequent collaborators" don't want to spend time with "me" then they're probably not particularly good "friends and collaborators" or something like "maybe they've got other stuff going on" or whatever. Something grounded. Something general. Finally, he'd just kind of assure me that there's more "friends etc" out there that will be there for me, and he sends me back, where I'd snap out of it and continue hosting the show.

It's a little bit too heady, and probably vaguely personal. It's not the worst idea, but I ultimately decided it would be better if it's had a snappier delivery and resolved itself fairly quickly.

Also, this is very much intended "limited" animation. I like the idea that I'm not shooting for the moon with it, or whatever. I just wanted to get this little exchange across. Plus it's a "thought" realm so no one's really "speaking" or doing anything that isn't just floating. It's a static, dream-like state. I'm glad it got me attempting to animate in any capacity. It can be done. I want to make more, and I should make more.

In both portions of this project, I just used this microphone that I got to be plugged into my phone. I know audio is a big thing for people, but I tend to want to stay away from the aural arts as much as I can. I could've dramatized things in a more effective way. I mean I could've been a better actor/voice actor but my "acting" is intended exclusively to serve my purposes.

I think that's all. Just ask me about stuff if you've made it this far and want to know anything. Ask me anything. Don't guess. I'm still flesh and bone!

Damn, I'm the corniest kind of adult.