It is now just under a month since the last thing I put here. I had a recent idea of how I might be able to utilize this blog, but before I do that I wanted to actually insert the drawings that I was describing last time.
This one appears to be some kind of duck fellow. Profoundly simple, I think I'd started with the base body shape, then he became more clearly duck-like. As I describe this one, I almost regret not coming up with the choice to provide commentary a lot sooner because now I feel like I'm rushing right past it and I almost specifically remember a feeling of importance about it when I first made it. It was a combination of emphasizing how important each piece of art actually is, especially when it comes to pieces so simple that it may become easier to just scroll past it. I hope I'm phrasing this correctly, I'm partially rushing myself. Anyway, I do invite anyone to talk to me about any individual one of my drawings. Just the fact that so many thoughts pass through the brain in the amount of time that it takes to make any work of art, I think, makes every single one worthy of significance. That's how it is. I don't know what else people expect from art; I imagine they have this unrealistic expectation of walking past a framed portrait in someone's hallway and the feeling they get from the picture makes them suddenly gain superhuman abilities or physically rejuvenates their bodies or something. For me, I see a piece of art, and it typically just makes me want to make more. Either in homage or in protest. Shit, I see a discarded box of cookies or something on the sidewalk and it makes me want to make art.. I mean that could've gone in a different direction, but, what I'm really trying to solidify in response to this piece is that something like this can easily be lost in the muddle of other drawings/paintings like it, but when I see these, I like to be reminded that this was something I made after a long while of not having made something like this in a long time. It's also a dumb, goofy, cute duck or some kinda bird wearing some kind of straw hat. The straw hat is actually fucking hilarious to me. Especially now, I'm picturing a real duck wearing a little straw hat. That's remarkably funny. DAMN that's funny. But also even the stupid little minimal implied grass that he's standing on makes me kinda happy. I love that kind of thing. That's exciting to me. Plus the fact that this painting is.. finished... is just, cool.
This one is definitely different. It's definitely the "middle". So, I have less to say about it, I think. I think this began as a practice of painting shapes. Or painting, in general. I most likely started with the yellow head shape. If this were to be "judged" or analyzed by some kind of technical standard, like in the greater world of fine art or more specifically cartoon or animation principles or something, the body of this guy would probably be critically torn to shreds. But there's something so intensely stupid about his legs that I really enjoy. Plus the physical asymmetry of his thighs would drive some people crazy. Good. Also, his face is pretty perfect. I'm not congratulating myself (which shouldn't be discouraged), but giving something like this distance and then coming back to it is kind of exciting. Why did I draw that face? What is he supposed to be? I don't know if this will be one of those ones that I generally forget about but then someone comes around and reminds me of it, months later. "I like this guy, he should be a character in something" and then nothing happens. If I'm being general about it, I think he does kind of look like some kind of 80s fantasy character. Like an inept minion or a greasy but helpful creature with consistent bad luck. Dang, now I kind of want to do something else with this guy!
So, this one, I'm not sure how much of it you can read.. There's even some pieces like this that I've done that I don't even want people to be able to read. Even now, I'm kind of hitting a wall where I'm questioning how much I'm "giving away" by describing my own work. I know, it's cool to be mysterious about things some times but as I get older, the less patience I have for being completely misunderstood. I used to love confusing people. Saying things in code. Or saying things to make people think there's a code. That's fun. Innocent fun. I wonder if there's a psychology behind the choice to be vague; I'm sure some people think it's a manipulation tactic to make people spend time "wondering about you". I promise that was never my intention. I think I just kind of idolized that as a characteristic. You know, in a Prince/Bob Dylan/MF Doom type of way. But also in a "umm.. random purple penguin giraffe taco" humor type of way. But real life happens. And I can't just sit there telling people "There's trees that need my attention" or something when I mean "I need to use the bathroom" which oddly does kind of make sense as I type this out, but still. I could've just used the real life example of when I was so uncomfortable that I described the details of that episode of Spongebob instead of asking for a cup of water.
Oh, but anyway, this actual piece. See, now I'm just in a "writing" mood. I can't tell if this picture needs to be magnified or what, but it was just me kind of trying to write something in a text format similar to poetry but not quite. I was trying to channel the style that I used when I was making my book JARBIS. And even then, I was channeling some writings I used to do periodically, from.. I'm not sure when, but probably around 2013 and earlier. This, is also a style I return to sometimes when I just want the most "pure" and personal stuff to just come out. This is one that I would describe as being strictly "for me". It seems contradictory, but it's really not. I'm sure someone else out there has described this kind of paradoxical logic, but I'm not sure how much I want to get into it, in lieu of continuing the describe this specific picture. This one was self-referential. I think in it, I was attempting to describe it in a way that I actually just described this and others like it. Justifying it to myself. Making a statement that it's not tacky to talk about the work from the inside of the work. Almost citing the fact that other mediums tend to do this and get away with it more than traditional, visual art could. Then again, there are those much older painters that would occasionally sneak themselves painting into a painting. Actually, yeah, that's way more tactful than what I'm doing. Equal quality and merit, too, but that's a different conversation. Still, I think some of this intention was to kind of express some of the annoyance I'd dealt with, this year.
"The more people know me, the less people know me" means a few things. I mean, what would you think it meant? In one way, it's referring to the fact that people who have known me for a while seem to not know me as well as they think they might. Kind of basic. Then, it also might refer to how, as the number of people that "know" me grows, the less plausible it is for each person to spend an efficient amount of time around me to actually "get to know" me. Finally, similarly to the first one, it kind of seems like people who have known you for a very long time- including family- might kind of stop making an attempt to "know" you because.. they already "know" you. Like, it seems like family who might've watched you grow up, just kind of cap off their idea about you at a certain age. It's fair enough because, in one sense, you're you and always will, straight up, be you. On the other hand it's like when someone keeps sending you guitar gifts because you said you liked music once when you were in middle school. (That's based off of two people I know, but I think about it a lot).
Anyway, I like doing this style, too. I like letting myself do something that's also partially abstract. It's also why I appreciate art that might appear disorganized or unintentional. You get something out of it, no matter what.
I probably repeated myself, here, and I will probably continue to do so. I didn't think I was going to write this much, but I did want to give each of these the same amount of attention because it bothers me when I let my own work slip through the cracks, or whatever, and they never get their "day" or whatever. I say that, knowing that I only did all this so I can move onto the next project, but that's fine. Thanks.
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